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Saturday, March 27, 2004

Living in the Land of Plastic Bags

Up until a few weeks ago I hadn't really paid attention to all the stuff that comes in a plastic bag here in Guatemala. My third graders were studying pollution. So I decided that we should do a trash pick-up at the park a block away to show them how much garbage is in one small spot here. The kids picked up 4 huge garbage bags full. It was absolutely disguisting. I found it interesting though at how many different plastic bags we found. Not only do things like pasta and candies come in plastic bags, but mayonaisse, jelly, Ketchup, mustard, milk, yogurt, chocolate, the list can go on forever...if it's liquid or in some sort of liquid form, then you can find it in a plastic bag here.
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Sunday, March 21, 2004

Studying for the GRE-Sick kids

So a few weeks ago I started studying for the GRE. Thursday I decided that I was going to start to tackle the math portion. Holy Cow. I have forgotten every piece of elementary algebra and geometry that I have ever learned. I have never been particulary good at math, but after about 10 minutes I realized how utterly stupid I am at math. I mean who really cares about finding the area of a parrallelagram when you are studying international relations. O'well. The good part of it all is that if I can just remember the formulas I will probably be okay.

On a different note, school has been very interesting. I think teaching has to be one of the most entertaining professions. Everyday after school Sabine and I recount the day and it really is like a stand-up comedian act. For example. Monday was really cold here, so I told the kids to go run outside for 2 minutes to get warmed up. They get back in at about 7:45 (15 minutes after school started). I'm standing there telling them to get their agenda's out when one of my kids comes to me (who speaks little english) to tell me that he threw up in his hand. I'm like, uh okay, lets walk to the bathroom. He starts to go and then stops just outside of the room. I'm like "Dude...GO!!!!" So he throws up right there and then we make it to the bathroom. After he's finished we go to the office to have him call his mom. His mom says he's fine, it's just that he has a cough and that's why he threw up 3 TIMES!!!! So we go back to class. Ten minutes later I walk over to his desk and almost step in a pile of vomit. I'm like "You didn't tell me you threw up all over the floor." I turn around to go get a mop when another kid steps in it. I'm like, you have got to be kidding me. By the time I get the vomit cleaned up it is only 8:15, 45 minutes into the day. Folks, it just doesn't get better than that.
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Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Playing Frogger in the Morning

So as everyone knows every morning I ride the chicken bus to work. We get off at Panorama, a small village. The road that we have to cross is just a two lane country road however it is jam packed with people going about 60 miles an hour, trucks, cars, and bikers. The cars try to pass the trucks and the bikes so then it becomes three lanes of traffic. It is absolutely hysterical in the morning because as soon as I get off the bus we go to cross the street and it really is like frogger. Go, go, stop wait, go go, back, front, hop hop fast and we made it. So I have been doing this for the 3 months which trained me for the Frogger Championship that I had in Guatemala City on Saturday.

I had to cross a road that is like Capital Blvd (8 lanes of heavy traffic going a minimum of 55 mph). There was a median in the middle which was the resting place. I had about 2 seconds room for error or I would be smashed. When I got to the median alls I could think about was Frogger and how he would get smashed by the transfer truck, just then and transfer truck whizzes in front of my face and I thought, well her we go. I am playing for the championship...I have to make it across the street with no lives left...

I won!
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Monday, March 08, 2004

It Kept Getting Weirder

So after I blogged yesterday I went back and Sabine and I decided to go lay on the beach. So we are down there like 10 minutes when a group of 4 guys comes and sits down near us. I swear they weren't sitting there for 2 seconds when the one guy started playing with himself infront of us. We were like "what the f%&@" It was absolutely disgusting...So of course we left...FAST. I was just like good God somebody help us.

After that incident we went to go sit by the pool and hung with Kurt and Diego the rest of the afternoon. At 2:45 we left to go get the shuttle back to Antigua. We are standing out side this hotel when this couple walks up with these two HUGE Doberman Pinchers. The one seriously looked like a horse. The dogs were absolutely beautiful and very well behaved. Anyway, long story short, they shuttle pulls up and this couple and the dogs get in the van. Now remember that it is about 98ยบ and I am in the land of NO AC. Which means that I am now sitting in a hot van with a dog the size of a horse breathing down my neck dripping slobber on the back of my seat...and I just thought to myself "It just doesn't get better than this". The couple were actually really nice and after we got going and the wind was blowing in the car the dogs settled down.

All and all it was a really fun weekend, just some random crazy stuff happened. Yikes!
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Sunday, March 07, 2004

Disappearing for the Weekend

Tuesday Sabine comes to me and asks if I want to have a girls weekend this weekend. Her boyfriend was going out of town and so we thought it would be cool to go somewhere just the two of us. We considered inviting some other girls we knew, but then decided that we just wanted to disappear for the weekend and relax. So we came to my favorite place in Guatemala, Monterrico. I am still here, but yesterday was so random and crazy that I had to write about it while everything is still fresh.

Thursday we decided that we wanted to go in a shuttle. Normally we take the chicken bus, but we thought that two girls traveling through Guatemala may not be as safe as with the boys. The shuttle was supposed to come pick us up at 8 am in front of Domino's pizza. We are sitting there waiting and at about 8:20 I'm getting really impatient. All of sudden out of nowhere this guy from the gas station asks us if we are going to Monterrico. We say yes and he says come with me. We then get in this tiny VW rabbit (dad it was exactly like the one you had when we were in Hawaii). He said he was going to take us to the shuttle. We hop in this thing, no questions asked. As we are bumping down the road (from the cobble stones) I'm thinking, dude, we just hopped in some random kids car...So he drops us off in front of a travel agency and says wait here. Ten minutes later he comes back with 2 more people, then ten minutes later 4 more people. I'm like what the hell is going on and where is the shuttle, by this time it is 8:45 and we were supposed to have left at 8. Finally at 9:15 the shuttle shows up which is the beat-up van, but fine whatever. There are two ways to go to Monterrico and this guy decided to take the long way. So he drops us off at La Avellana at 11:00 where we have to take a boat for 20 minutes to get to the beach. I'm like what the heck. But then we have to sit there and wait until 12 until the chicken bus comes because the boat driver wants the boat to be full (understandable). This would have been all well and good except there was a group of americans that were in a huge hurry and just complaining every five seconds...but whatever, I was going to the beach so I'm chill.

So we get to El Delfin (hotel) and the owner is like "Hi Melissa, here is your room" YEA!!!!! I'm at the beach. By this time I am absolutely starving. We had brought down a bag of rice and so I took it over to the lady who always cooks for us when we are here. Q10 for the best rice in Guatemala. So we lay by the pool while the rice is cooking. I go pick it up 20 minutes later and bring it back to our room. As I am walking back into the room, I see that there are 4 drunk 40 year-olds sitting at the table outside of our room drinking bear. They say hola and I go into the room. I am standing there with my back to the door when I hear one of them ask me if I have a light. I turn around and the dude has propped himself in the doorway like he's James Dean. I say no I don't have a light, so he takes his out and starts to talk to me. I could hardly understand what he was saying, but I tried to be friendly and chit chat because I knew Sabine would be back in a second and we would leave for the beach. Finally she comes and we jet to eat on the beach.

Around 1:30 we are ready to head to the sand to lay out for a bit. We get the CD player and our towels. We are laying on the beach on our stomachs drinking out Diet Cokes and listening to Buena Vista Social Club. I thought life can't get much better than this. We are sitting there watching the waves when we see the four drunk guys come staggering down to the water. Oh my gosh it was something out of America's Funniest Home Videos. They were getting pounded by the waves. Everytime they would stand up another wave would come and knock them down. There was one guy that we thought was going to get carried out to sea. He couldn't stand up to save his life and wave after wave was just creaming him. He would try to stand up and then stubble and fall again. It was absolutely hysterical. Seriuosly I was laughing until I was about to cry. Anyway, this lasted for about 20 minutes and was really some great entertainment for the afternoon. After awhile we decided to get out of the sun and go sit on the hamocks by the pool.

The last time we were here we ate at places that were not so good, so we decided to really treat ourselves since this was our girls weekend. We went to eat dinner at Pez de Oro (Adam, Neal and Aaron, I told her about the story about the trash can moving and the crab and all the stuff from when we stayed there. She was pretty entertained). We had an absolutely fabulous dinner. It is a full moon right now and so as we were walking back to our hotel it was so cool. The moonlight was so bright it was like a spotlight. It was amazing how the light played on the waves.

We got back to the hotel and decided to get our box wine and 7-up and go down to the beach and drink. We are down there for like 10 minutes when this guy comes to talk to us. We are like dude stop talking to us...we told him our boyfriends from the city were right down the way drinking and they were going to be here in five minutes. Finally after about 20 minutes he got the hint and left. Then like 20 minutes later 2 new guys come and sit down trying to make conversation. Again with the same story we are like, uh no boyfriends coming, please go away. These two guys sit for about 10 minutes and then leave. We sit in peace for another 15 minutes when another guy comes. He starts speaking in english which kind of wierded us out for a second and was like, hey can I come sit and talk with you for a few minutes. My exact words were "Yes you can, but our boyfriends from the city are going to be here in 5 minutes, they are very jealous and I don't want to get in trouble." I mean it was really getting ridiculous. He left pretty quickly. We thought, finally we can chill and relax. We are sipping our box wine chit chatting about how wonderful life is when the two guys from earlier came back. They were like, it's been an hour, your boyfriends have forgotten about you. I'm just like oh god what the heck. Please we just want to chill. So I'm are sitting there talking to this one guy and he's asking me all these questions about my "boyfriend". I made up this story about my boyfriend from the city who is an accountant and no I don't know how much it cost to fly to Guatemala because he always pays for it and blah blah blah, yes I'm very much in love...Ay Dios Mio. Finally he gets the point and tells his friend who is talking to Sabine "lets go". But his friend is like, no it's okay...I want to talk. So my guy leaves and Sabine has the "Help me now" look. So I start looking around for some normal guy to come help us. Just then I see one of the owners of the hotel who is actually about our age. I go get him and explain our "story" and could he somehow please help us. So he goes to the guy and is like you have to go because these guys girlfriends our jerks and are not cool so get the hell away. The guy leaves and he sits down with us for a bit to kind of make sure they don't come back. By this time it's almost 10 o'clock. Sabine gets up and goes to the bathroom and I stay on the beach talking to him. She comes back and goes, "Look who I found". It was our friends Kurt and Diego from Antigua. They sit down with us and start drinking.

I was excited to see them but then I was like damnit, we were only able to disappear for 10 hours. I'm amazed that I live in another country and that I go to the beach and run into someone I know. This happened last time I was down here. Geez. So Sabine and I sit there for two more hours with them and decide to head to bed. What a random day.

So I woke up at 6:30 this morning. Sabine and I are like lets go drink our licaudo (milkshake) on the hammocks on the beach. We walk down there and who do we find but Kurt, Diego and their two girlfriends sleeping. So we went down to the beach and we are just like the last 24 hours have really been random from the shuttle being late, to the drunk guys almost drowning to the night of every guy in Guatemala wanting to talk...So here I am in the internet shop at the beach...but life doesn't get much better than this.
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Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Rosa Parks in Guatemala?

So everyone is familiar with Rosa Parks and the whole back of the bus incident. So there is some kind of complex here with going to the back of the bus. I call it the "Rosa Parks" complex (not to minimize the civil rights, this is merely in jest). So every day I ride a chicken bus to and from work. These are old yellow school busses that now take people from one town to another. Every morning Sabine and I get on the bus. When you first get on you go "Oh hell it's crowded" But then you look past the first 3 rows and there is no one in the back. There is always three people in each seat in the first three rows. It's insane. The whole back can be empty but you better believe the first three rows are going to be full to the point that you can barely walk inbetween the people to get to the back. So one day we are getting on the bus and this Guatemalan woman gets on before us. The first row has two people in one seat and three in the other. There are 4 rows in the back that are completely empty. What does this woman do, sits down in the front seat with only two people and blocks up the whole damn thing. The money taker guy is yelling "Dale dale dale" which basically means the bus driver can go. So now Sabine and I are standing at the front of this bus, speading down a coble stone road, bouncing all over the place, book bags full and we have to push past this women that just blocked the whole thing up like a dam. We always end up hitting people in the head with our book bags, but if they were in their freakin seats instead of half on half off because there are already two other people that would't happen. But anyway, we thought that maybe this was a freak incident until we saw that always the first three rows are full no matter what is happening in the back. Then the other day Sabine and I get on the bus with some of the other teachers from the school who are Guatemalan. The bus is pakced but the money taker guy is telling the people that are just getting on to move to the back of the bus...so Sabine I start going back, but the Guatemalan teachers just stand at the front of the bus...the guy is yelling at them to move back and they just stand there. It really is unbelievable...I just can't figure it out. Outkast said it best "Everybody move to the back of the bus!"
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